.Sunday, September 27, 2009 ' 10:41 PM Y
live & regret.
Currently tuning into: Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone
You know that I love you so,
I love you enough to let you go.
I want you to know,
It doesn't matter where we take this road,
Someone's gotta go,
And I want you to know,
You couldn't have loved me better,
But I want you to move on,
So I'm already gone.
Remember all the things we wanted,
Now all our memories, they're haunted,
We were always meant to say goodbye.Back from KB yawww. Arrived this morning, at around 2am. Left Nek's place at around 4pm. 10 hours journey beb. Rawrrrr. Jam sudaa. Journey was boring. Dahlah radio xde frequency, phone batt low. So basically I took out my laptop, & spent 2 hours singing to songs on my laptop non-stop, smpi laptop pun abis battery. Ahaha. Basically was doing tht to keep Papa awake. Lol. N'way, by the time my battery ran out we arrived in Bentong, where there was frequency. HOHO.
As I mentioned earlier, went back to KB by flight. It was my 1st time on a plane in what, 9 yrs maybe? Lol. The last time was when I actually came back to Malaysia, I think. N'way, didn't bring much, since my clothes were all with papa, who went back by car a few days earlier. However, brought a bag. & guess what was in it?
My teddy bear. Ahaha. Yeap, I brought a bag with a teddy & nothing else. Mesti security tu rase plik, ni nak gi jauh2 baju semue xde, patung beruang satu je? Haha wtf. Told mummy, & she was like, "You could have least helped put some of my stuff in your bag, & all you brought was your teddy bear?". Hahaha. Oh, but bottom line, I still prefer MAS.
Oh, a few days back, some drama happened. Went to visit my Atuk's grave, who passed away last Raye. Went with my family, & aunties. On the way back, decided to drop by his second wife's house. Yea, my grandparents were divorced, & he remarried. N'way, bak kate Auntie Suzy, pahala byk klu dlm bulan Syawal berjumpe ngan org2 yg t'dkat dgn mereke2 yg suda pergi (or sumthing like tht la).
So, obviously, we just dropped by, didn't actually tell them that we were coming. Skali sampai, saw a tent there. Bajet wat kenduri Raye la kan, until we entered the house & saw some pelamin thingy inside. You know, tht special spot where the pengantin sits ble nak kawen? Yea. Asked what was going on. Turns out that her daughter, aka my auntie & papa's stepsister was getting married that night, & tht the kenduri was the next day. We all, were like, wtf. Gle kurang ajar sial. Family sendiri pun xbgtau. Pndi nak mintak duit semue dr papa, tp, pergh, ble kawen, wat cam masing2 xknl lak. No phone ilang la, xdpt contact laa. Fucking excuses wey. N'way, God's great though. If we didn't visit Atuk's grave on tht day we wouldn't have known.
Oh, & fyi, tht auntie of mine, who got married, she's
19. A total death sentence to get married that young. & the best thing, she didn't even look like she was about to get married that night. No wedding glow & all that crap. Just like it happens every yr or summat. Pfft. People, all sorts nowadays.
Sooo. Today? Bell wat open house, as she does every year. I go, as usual, except fer last yr, where we got in a fight. Nad, Mirul, & Aben went too. Asked Haikal to come too tp die ade open house gak. Pfft.
Before.
Aben!
Oh ohh! Pn Sharifatul! Bell's mum, also my Sejarah teacher in Form 4. Weee.
After that, went to Summit. Again, fer karaoke. Lol. As always, we all started going emo. Haha. Semue dlm kesakitan ati kot. All single & heartbroken, excluding me I suppose, since I already have another boyf. Yes, I never do stay single fer long.
By the end of the karaoke session, Nad was in tears. I could understand really, she just broke up after all. But it pissed me off when she said that "aku xfham pe die rase, sng nak ckp je,". Hah. Don't start feeding me bullshit about me not knowing how it feels like.
I've been through every single fucking thing. To go to the extent to not only keep my cheating boyf, but to actually agree to share him with some other girl. To be fed friggin lies almost every day. & you tell me I don't understand how you feel? I've taken a lot of shit throughout this past few months, & to still be alive now, tht's a hella lot fer Farah Alia to do. I did every single thing tht I would never want to do, just b'cuz of love. So, to tell me that I don't understand? No girl in their right mind would do what I've been doing all this while. No girl at all. At times I still wonder how I actually let myself go through all that shit. So yea, no matter how much I pity her it still won't change the fact that I'm pretty pissed at her statement. But it's after Raye, it's a new yr, & I'll live fer the present. Not the past, not the future, but now. Enjoy suda. Sdih2 tu kemudian2, xpun lupekan je trus. Wat bodo suda.
Phones. This morning I received a sms from Amin, which said: "Hye, ni farah alia ke?klu bkn sowey la eh.ni amin." I was like, wtf weh! Dah prepare kaw2 kot nak sound si Amin, psl nak ckp camtu. But then I checked again & started laughing. B'cuz it wasn't
my Amin but my
cousin Amin. Ahahaha. Wtf la. Bikin sendiri pnas je kot.
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i'm okay, until i realise that things will never be the same.
