.Thursday, October 1, 2009 ' 12:27 PM Y
live & regret.
Currently tuning into: Hawthorne Heights - Ohio Is For Lovers
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.
Spare me just three last words.
"I love you" is all he heard.
I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever. Had a dream last night. Woke up shaking.
Was in some house. Amin was busy hanging with his friends, some which I've never met. I was lying on the sofa, listening to songs & crying. Heard Amin said he was going somewhere. Ignored him. Just wanted everyone to go away.
The scene changed. I was in some shopping mall with Nad & Bell. Begged them to follow me to some place; I was certain Amin was there, & I had a bad feeling something was going on. Hati cam xtenang je. They told me to ignore it, & just have fun with them. I couldn't. I abandoned them & went on my own. Walked around, until I reached some supermarket. Spotted Amin there. Went closer, & I felt my heart sink. He had his hands around some girl.
I froze. He saw me, & took his hands off her. Too late, I had seen enough already. She wasn't aware of what was going on, she was too busy talking to one of the promoters there. Looked at her. I know I've seen her somewhere, again with him. I remembered her the moment I saw her again. She appeared in my dreams once, what is she doing here again? I approach them. He made a foolish move to introduce us to each other. Stupid, stupid you. Before he could finish his sentence I slapped him & shouted, tht he lied to me, yet again. Everyone was looking, I didn't care. I left, he stood there watching me go.
The scene changed yet again. I ran out from wherever I was, tears pouring down my face. Came to a road full of cars passing by. Collapsed in the middle of the road, hugged myself & continued crying. I had had enough, the many cars didn't bother me at all. All I wanted was to drop dead & die.
The scene changed fer the last time. I was in a huge bathroom. I was as white as the walls around me. My wrists were cut open, with blood all over the place. I knew, my life was going to end soon. That girl. Only now do I rmbr where I first saw her. I dreamt about her when I was sleeping in Amin's room. Not really dream, but caught a glimpse of her when I was sleeping. Again she was with Amin. I'm certain she has something to do with now. How can someone I've never even met appear in my dreams twice?
I don't want competition. I don't want anymore hurtful answers & lies. I want out.
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i'm okay, until i realise that things will never be the same.
THE BLOGGERY
.Farah Alia.
18 going on 19, from London, England, & currently staying in Subang Jaya, Slgr, MY.
Me? I've yet to discover myself.
SEARCH MEY
LYRICS TO MY LIFEY
When you walked away from me,
And said your last goodbye,
I never thought that six months on,
You'd still be in my life.
I have tried to forget,
Get you out of my head,
But the memories won't fade,
I can run I can hide from this feeling inside,
But the pain won't go away.
Now I'm sure you've found a girl,
To fill my empty space,
But I'm stuck with the love that we shared,
That time just can't erase,
I can run I can hide from this feeling inside,
But the pain won't go away.
Cause every time I hear your name,
The world stops for a moment,
Baby with a single word,
I can see your face again,
Cause every time I hear your name,
The world stops for a moment,
And I'm taken back to what we had,
Every time I hear your name.
♥♥♥
BLOGGERSY
