.Thursday, December 10, 2009 ' 1:20 AM Y
live & regret.
Currently tuning into: Britney Spears - Three
Babe, pick a night,
To come out and play,
If it's alright,
What do you say? ;p On This Day In Your Life Farah, God Wants You To Know..
that you've been driving yourself too hard lately. Sure, there is time to invest yourself fully into work, but there is equally important time for joyful resting. And for you, this time is now. What is the absolutely most wonderful little treat you can give yourself? Do it today. Haha. So that girl I was mentioning about in my previous blogpost deleted her blog, or changed her url, wtvr. Well, I didn't mention names did I? Hah. Fyi, I don't simply talk bad without reason. Well, proves that you actually visit my blog regularly. Thx. LMAO. Sry if I seem harsh, but someone seriously has to wake you up.
N'way, had another Mass Comm presentation. Last week was the host group of a mock press conference, this week, the media group. Had no idea on what to wear(formal la kan) so ended up ransacking my clothes fer something suitable.
1st, wanted to wear this, but the skirt was too short so I wore leggings. But then it seemed casual. & to add a shawl to cover my shoulders, cam gi prom la plak HAHA.
=.=
So settled fer this; a singlet, short skirt, & blazer.
Muke br bgun la wey HAHA.
Fyi, the blazer belongs to mummy, Just a few mths ago, I wore it. & crap, you couldn't imagine just how tight it was. I couldn't even button up the outer part of the blazer, so don't even talk about the inner. Now, I can button it all up & still have some loose space. Rawrr. I've never felt any greater bout myself.
Lost weight, lost the sadness, gained confidence, gained happiness. I'm all me yaww. ;)
So, after classes mummy decided to buy lunch at my uni cafeteria. Otw there, tetibe je ley sound I. "Good lar Farah..smoke..smoke some more," I was like, wtf? Dah stop smoke lak. I only smoke during lepaking moments, & that rarely happens nowadays; I'd rather shisha. & I don't buy my own cigs anymore. So, genuinely confused I ask mummy why, & swore that I quitted. Told me that she found a pack of cigs in my car. Lgla aku wtf kan. Tiap2 ari aku gune kete xprnh2 lak aku jumpe rokok. & if I was still smoking I'd be smart enough to hide my cigs. Besides, it was Salem Elite, not Sampoerna, which is the only cig I'd smoke. Turns out the ex-boyf Ajit left it in my car mase lepak arituh. Sheesh u ni kan yunk, nasib baik I pndi cover, klu x mampos I. T_T
Then, had my Web Page Design mid term exam at 5. Gah, I forgot all the codes. I only rmbr them when I'm typing, not writing. Pfft, abis la aku. & now I'm dead busy with assignments. Sociolog presentation on Monday. Sheesh.
Oh, just now one of my myspace friends mintak couple. Aku pantang ah bab couple2 nih. Fer now, I just wanna have fun & not commit. Thx to some
idiot who made me realise that there's no point in loving someone. Especially when he called last night.
Yea, Casper called again last night, & again became his stupid un-serious self. Sumpah benci. He can still call & laugh & joke around with me, after all the pain he caused me. Urgh, boys, are all like that really? Suddenly said he told Umi he wanted to marry me & Wani & when I started arguing with him he said I was jealous. Aku nak jeles? Come on ah bai, skang aku petik jari dah ley dpt mane2 laki aku nak, nak jeles la sgt kan. & then this time, it was my turn to hang up on him.
His stupid claims, bout telling Umi this & telling Umi that, when I know that she knows nothing, & wouldn't have if I didn't open my mouth that day. Even mummy doesn't want to see his face anymore, not after knowing him for what he did to me, & told me to ignore him completely.
But despite all the pissed-off feelings, as usual, I couldn't go to sleep after talking to him. That's mainly why I don't want to talk to him, something about me just goes wrong after he appears. Yet I somehow feel like kicking myself for picking up the phone when I know its him. & I still wonder how we made it through these few months this way. Don't even mention 'we', I mean ME. & to think, as mad as I sound, how I actually still
love him. Urgh.
Nvm, kesah. As I had learnt from tht movie Ghosts Of Girlf's Past, playboys always die alone.Going to Mid tmrw with Bell, Haikal & the boys. & maybe jumpe Izz la kot, klu die rjin dtg Mid nnt.
I still majok ngan u okeh, psl ari ni! Hmmph!
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i'm okay, until i realise that things will never be the same.
