.Friday, February 12, 2010 ' 1:59 AM Y
live & regret.
Currently tuning into: Pixie Lott - Cry Me OutOn This Day In Your Life Farah, God Wants You To Know..
that you are only as free as you imagine yourself to be. There is nothing ''out there'' that's holding you down, - you are limiting yourself only with your own imagination. And your greatest limits are not even the ''cannot'' and the ''should not'', but the places where your imagination hasn't yet gone at all. There has never been a better time for you to open your eyes, let the imagination soar and see what more is possible. Monday, 8th February 2010.Zumbathon. It was a blast, really. Like 80%, including me turned up in red, & the 2 hour session was taught by Sunny, Elva, Myke, Jason, & Zainal. It was tiring, but I had a whole lot of fun, not to mention all the shouting & laughing, especially when it was Myke & Elva's turn to teach. Seriously, I love them; they're definitely my faves.
Spot me. Damn candid, not to mention how xtra fat I look. T_T
Oh, tht's Sunny teaching.
& before I kene saman for stealing(lol), I got these from Elva's FB. Usha2 tetibe je ade muke aku skali. Pfft.
Wednesday, 10th February 2010.Met Amin today. Yea, after almost 2 mths. Went to lpak at Mcd with one of his friends. Mummy lectured me about seeing him. According to her, he must have some certain motive in suddenly wanting to meet me. A lot more that she said, but bottom line, she knew I was stubborn when it came to meeting him, so she just let it be.
Still the same, in & out.
Meeting him again made me nervous, for some unknown reason. While driving there my hands were shaking, & I was almost short of breath. However, meeting him, I felt hatred. I just couldn't get myself to sit down there & act like nothing happened between us. I was obviously hating this guy I loved. I wasn't the bubbly, friendly person that was usually with him, I was just a cold, heartless bitch then.
It boiled up my blood thinking of how he could sit there & not even think twice of everything he ever did to me. How he left me & still brags to his friends that I'm his girlf. Yea, the one he abandoned & left for someone else. But, who am I to complain any longer, all this is supposed to be in the past. In fact, thinking once more, mummy's right, he doesn't deserve to get a chance to meet me again.
After that, went to the gym. While driving to Sunway, again there was that sick feeling of wanting to scream & cry. Yes, I admit, I regretted meeting him. I knew exactly how I'd feel whenever I meet him, but then again, only lovers will know the reasons of my actions. (Ayt pun dah touching dah wtf.)
Had MTV class again, this time danced to V-Factory's Lovestruck. Susah woo. Pfft. Also made friends with one of the sales consultants at the gym, Izwan. Before class stood at the door talking about each other. Smpi tanye I ni single ke x. Pe daa, xirrelevant lgsg. Hahaa. N'way, after MTV did Body Pump, Body Combat, & Zumba classes. Seriously, only the gym offers me comfort, no matter how I feel.
When I was about to leave, Amin texted & said tht he was in Sunway, so we lpaked at the rooftop. Technically, 'lepak' involved sitting with him & two of his friends in the car doing nothing. Xbengang lak aku. After barely 10mins of sitting in the car I got very pissed & left without a word.
Was kinda hurt though, he didn't even bother coming after me, or at least calling me or texting me to see if I was okay. But then again, he nvr did regard me as a person with feelings. God what a bastard. Only like every time he'd break my heart, & I stupidly fall, every single fucking time. Sure, I did give out a bitchy attitude last night, but I have my reasons, & he should understand.
Otw home felt very fucked up, with so much on my head, wanting to cry, feeling sick. As I entered Putra Heights, saw this dog by the side of the road, struggling to get up. Apparently it looked like it had been hit by a car. I panicked, wanted to stop & help the poor creature, but at the same time I was terrified. Started screaming & crying like mad while driving home; thinking of the dog's condition was agonizingly painful. Arrived home, still crying harder than ever, until mummy & papa had to calm me down. Couldn't sleep then, kept on thinking of the poor dog, hoping & praying that someone good helped put it out of its misery.
Thursday, 11th February 2010.Had my 2nd & final training with Shah today. Sumpah terseksa gle. Pfft. On the bright side, I lost another 3kg. After that had an hour before Zumba, so went shopping. Well, technically shopping.
As a start. Bju sendiri la hoiii. HAHA.
I like this, but somehow looked weird.
Out out out.
In the end I only managed to buy underwear for mummy & I. LOLOLOL.
After shopping went for Zumba with Myke. Then went cycling with Bryan.
Going back to Kuantan today. Steamboat tmrw, CNY the next. Will post updates. Laters! ;)
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i'm okay, until i realise that things will never be the same.
