.Wednesday, March 31, 2010 ' 8:22 PM Y
live & regret.
I'm aware tht I haven't been blogging as much as before. Well, the things tht happen in my life are totally random really, happy or sad, so there's not much to say.
I'll post when there's
really something that changes my life, aite.
:D
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i'm okay, until i realise that things will never be the same.
.Thursday, March 18, 2010 ' 5:01 PM Y
live & regret.
Want updates? The Bukit Tinggi trip was uber awesome. Got to stay in a French-themed resort, wear a Kimono, learnt all sorts of funny plants names, eventhough it does sound kinda boring, had 5 full buffets, worked out at the lousy gym, sweated my ass off at the gym, watched a Chinese acrobatic show, & finally, kene ayt kaw2. LOL. Pics, are all in FB. Well, most of them la. (:
Oh, & these few days I've been going out with friends. 3 ari b'trut-trut, lpak ngan 3 gang berlainan. LOL. On Tuesday met the close friends, Haikal & Aben. Went to watch V3: Gangster Jalanan b'cuz there was no nice movie to watch & I had already watched Alice In Wonderland 3D with Jo-lyn & Debbie last week. Swt. At night, after gym, hung out with Eddie, the scandal t'syg.
Then yesterday, spent the whole afternoon with Eddie again, had lunch & walked around Sunway. Ni confirm jd topic hangat kat UTAR dah. Met some of my uni mates at Sunway these past 2 days. Mesti dorg plik. 1st2 tgk aku ngan due mamat, gi tgk wyg. Nx day mamat lain lak, punye la rapat lak tuh. HOHO.
This morning, had breafast with Aloy at Old Town, Subang Avenue. Met him here at the gym on Monday, where Izwan introduced me to him. Pecah record ah bai, br brp ari knl dah lpak. Hahaa. After that he ajk me go lpak with him & some of his friends, so parked my car at Carrefour, & went with him in his car to his friend's house in Bandar Utama. After tht, went lepak at The Curve. His friends, Siti & Diyana, somehow were damn familiar. They said the same thing too. Apparently it was obvious tht we had met & chatted somewhere, tp masing2 xtau mane. Hahaa lol. & well, now here I am, at the gym. Oh, & I finally found my belly dancing thingy! Wtf. You know, that cloth with bells you tie around yr waist, like those Arabians? LOLOLOL.
One thing I've realised these past few days? I'm definitely not ready to be in a new relationship. B'cuz, as of now, I wanna spend my time having fun with guys. & not in the wrong way obviously. Put it this way, I'm still not done enjoying the freedom of being tied down to only one guy. So, why waste my time having a headache in which one to choose out of two guys? I'm still single, I can go out with anyone I want. & for once, I actually truly, genuinely enjoy being single. Doesn't make a player, right? ;)
You know, it's kinda weird when suddenly everyone actually notices you. Now wherever I go there is always one random guy walking past me who would stop & say I'm pretty/ cute. WTF. Sure beats being invisible.
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i'm okay, until i realise that things will never be the same.
.Tuesday, March 9, 2010 ' 6:18 PM Y
live & regret.
Currently tuning into: Cheryl Cole - Fight For This Love Yesterday I woke up at 6am, quite confident that I was gonna make it through the day, as in, go fer classes from 8am until 5pm & still manage to make it to the gym until 11pm. However, proved myself wrong.
Was driving to uni, going through the terrible jam, until I suddenly realised that I was having difficulty breathing. The moment I arrived at uni I knew I couldn't make it through the whole day so I called mummy up & told her I'll only be going for the 8-10 Finance lecture.
After that went to the office to get some stuff done, then drove to the clinic I always go to, in front of my old school. According to the doctor I was just having the usual fever, flu, cough & stuff, & a little asthma. After tht drove back home.
By the time I arrived home I was as pale as a ghost, on the verge of fainting. In fact, the whole room seemed to be spinning around me. Pfft. It's a wonder how I actually managed to drive almost an hour back home in tht condition.
Still having the stupid pening2 & loya2 feeling now, but way better than yesterday. Apparently I was having very low blood pressure last night, which was why I ended up that way. Sheesh. It sucks to be sick, I rarely fall sick. The last time I really fell sick was 2yrs ago, during Raya. Wtf.
Haven't been to the gym in 2 days, & it's killing me. Though mummy's saying I probably overworked myself at the gym. Lol.
& I'll be going to Bukit Tinggi this Friday. Papa's company family day. Yeay! :D
Before going out with mummy to fetch adik from school. At least I have to energy to stand up today.
Oh, just realised. Apparently my amount of blog followers have decreased. I suppose last time everyone was anxious to follow up on my 'tragic love story'. HAHA WTF. Let's just hope I get an awesome + almost perfect boyf soon yea. ;)
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i'm okay, until i realise that things will never be the same.
.Sunday, March 7, 2010 ' 8:34 PM Y
live & regret.
Currently tuning into: Lady Gaga - Silly Boy So this morning I was having breakfast/lunch at Taipan with my family. Discussed with Papa about my degree in Sg Long, which is gonna be in June. About whether I should travel Subang-Sg Long & back or to rent a place there. Papa actually came to a point where he said he'll buy me an apartment there. Fuhhhh. Merdeka la aku, ley wat PP dahh hoiii HAHAH. 0.0
It's scaring me actually, tht I've been waiting so long to finally stay on my own, & now tht it's gonna be in a few mths, I'm kinda reluctant to move out from my family. Pfft. Call me anak manja la kan, but I am attached to my family. Would be coming home on weekends though. Still haven't decided whether I wanna rent a apartment with friends or as papa said, get my own. Time sure flies, I'm entering my 20s soon, & I'll have to be depend on myself.
Oh, wanna know what many guys are saying to me now?
Mmg susah nak ambik ati u kan? Hahaa. I've been getting tht only God knows how many times now. I'm no longer as easy as before. You can treat me with the sweetest phrases ever, you may have the best looks ever, but I'll never fall. I have a hard time trusting guys, therefore I have a hard time actually loving them. Thx to an ex-boyf. I'm not really in love, I'm just saying it aloud to ensure myself tht I'm still pretty normal. Sheesh.
The nx boyf in my life would obviously be pretty darn lucky if he actually manages to melt this stone cold heart of mine. Pfft.
I'm sick. Fever, flu, cough, urgh, the entire package. & tmrw class is back to back from 8am-5pm. Sheesh someone kill me.
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i'm okay, until i realise that things will never be the same.
.Friday, March 5, 2010 ' 12:52 PM Y
live & regret.
Currently tuning into: Lady Gaga - Monster On This Day In Your Life Farah, God Wants You To Know..
that there are appropriate times to stand in your power. Power isn't always evil. If you stand tall in the power of goodness, you can have a powerful impact on a situation. Heyy! Haven't blogged in ages, I know. Been really busy since final sem started, & with gym, I get home feeling so friggin exhausted even onlining is no longer on my mind.
So. Been trying to get my studies on track, & boy it ain't easy. Killer subs this sem, especially when it involves me having to take 3 subs, while many others are taking 2. Payback time fer bad results I suppose. Pfft. Mid-terms are in 2 weeks time, assignments are due in 3 weeks time, & finals are at the end of nx mth. Bullet train dah hoii. Sheesh.
Oh, & this past week I've been attempting to track down my fellow Assunta Kuantan classmates, from Standard 2 & 3. Found a few, & it didn't take long fer then to rmbr me. Ain't hard to miss me out really, since I was the malay girl with Chinese looks who entered 2 Inovatif, not knowing a single word of Malay, speaking English with a heavy British accent. When someone weird appears, you nvr forget them do you. Sheesh. One thing's fer sure though, the bullies damn right sure never forgotten me. Found one, this girl Alina, & she recognized me straight away. Sure, b'cuz of you & your fellow bitches my 1st yr studying in Malaysia was hell on earth. But hey, the past, all placed behind where it is.
P.s, I'm in love again. & this time, I'm working hard to get what I want. ;)
xoxo.
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i'm okay, until i realise that things will never be the same.
.Thursday, February 25, 2010 ' 12:55 AM Y
live & regret.
Currently tuning into: Celine Dion - It's All Coming Back To Me On This Day In Your Life Farah, God Wants You To Know..
that you've been skipping out on God's most important gift to man - love. Love is the blood of the soul. God wants all beings to have healthy and strong souls, so God created a simple law to nourish the soul: the more you give love, the more you receive love. Rememb...er all the beings you love - people, animals - that you haven't thought of lately. Do not wait anymore, reconnect with them today and express your love. I'm really happy today. Wanna know why? I'll tell you later. ;)
Went to Keramat today, to meet Umi. Sumpah rindu gle ouh kat die. N'way, arrived at around 2. Umi opened the door, & was wearing bju kurung, looking as if she wanted to go out. So I asked her, then she said, "Xde la, bwak Farah gi mkn la," Haha wtf. N'way, she brought me out to eat at the Setiawangsa food court, though technically, I was the one driving. LOL.
Chit chatted with her. Told her I did meet up with Amin, then she asked stuff, like who was he with, whether it was a girl or guy, how were we both going on, stuff like tht. She also said thx fer rmbring her, ayt nak wat aku nangis je doh. I suppose she assumed I won't be talking to her anymore since I'm no longer with Amin. Oh, then she was eating ikan bakar, then told me to eat some also, & said "Haa, Farah mkn ni, igtla kat Amin, die ske mkn ikan bkar," =____="
Left at 4-ish, wanted to go to the gym. Had MTV class today, & did Sexy Chic. Sexy gle wooo choreography die. Main meraba2 bdan dah HAHAHAHAA.
Oh, & according to Umi, Amin's bro's getting engaged to kak Hidayah some time this yr. It's nice to hear tht really, they seem so happy together. They've been together fer a yr plus too, like Amin & I, apart from the fact that we've broken up. Somehow made me wonder that, if Amin hadn't gone do all the stupid things we did, could we have ended up planning all tht too? Perhaps not, I'd end up suffering if I had a husband like him. Pfft.
Oh, so why am I happy? Finals results came out. & hey, I PASSED. Like hell yea wey! Sure, my pointer's not that good, but at least I can still continue my final sem. This made me happier about everything in life, b'cuz it finally showed that I had succeeded in trying to build myself back up. Losing weight, getting my studies on the go, all the important stuff in building who I am right now. I'm happy, I realise that I don't need some bastard in my life just to be happy, I'm just grateful fer wtvr I already have.
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i'm okay, until i realise that things will never be the same.
.Monday, February 22, 2010 ' 1:49 AM Y
live & regret.
Currently tuning into: Lady Gaga - Bad Romance On This Day In Your Life Farah, God Wants You To Know..
that every time you pretend to love, you impoverish yourself more and more. Love has great potential to enrich your life. But if you are just playing a role, pretending to love, it's only going to poison you. Because you are teaching yourself that it's just a game, and slowly but surely you will lose the capacity to open in love.Went to Sunway Lagoon today. My 2nd time being there. The 1st time I went there I was like what, 9-10? Pfft. N'way, went with mummy, papa, & adik. Today was truly a REAL family get together, after only God knows how long.
N'way, bought tickets fer all parks. First, went to the Wildlife Park. Not much really, bears, tigers, birds, butterflies, otters, raccoons, domestic animals. Got to feed rabbits & guinea pigs, hold a tortoise, & touch most of the animals there. Almost saw a tapir for the 1st time! Excited gle dah aku; nvr knew tapirs were that big. & at the butterfly farm it was kinda funny, fer the fact that I kept ducking to avoid the butterflies. HAHA. Pretty as they are, I don't really fancy flying insects.
Tortoises.
We stopped by some place near a lake to put on sunscreen. Thx God fer tht, now I have a healthy tan. :D
Like father like son, like daughter like mother. Lol.
1st time seeing a peacock open up it feathers! Haha. It was funny really. It opened up b'cuz some bird was nearby it, so I went nearer to snap a pic. Punye la pemalu burung tuh. Wanted to snap a pic of it from front but it kept on turning, showing its back to me. In the end, that was all I could capture. Mummy & Papa were laughing like noone's business. =.=
Parrot yg bising bangat. Pfft.
After that, went to the Water Park. First time mummy joined us in the water. Borrowed my aunt's swimsuit. Hahaa. Quite fun actually, spent time soaking in the surf pool. Then went to the beach area, where Papa finally joined us.
Capturing each other. Lol.
Parents t'syg. <3
Mummy & adik.
After that went to the Extreme Park, where adik & papa played paintball. After that the 4 of us went trampoline jumping. Haha damn funny that thing, not to mention tiring. After that went to the archery, & finally the hanging bridge. Was holding on to mummy tightly, on the verge of wanting to cry, no to forget sweating like mad. Maklumla, aku kan takot tinggi. Pfft. The bridge was damn long, it seemed to take forever to reach the other end. T_T
Then, arrived at the dry park. Went on the cauldron ride, where you can spin that thingy around. LOL. Then mummy & I went on the Pirate's revenge, damn thrilling. The ride actually turned you upside down! Was screaming like mad. After the ride finished, could see papa laughing like mad at us. LOL. Lastly, went to ride the long waterslides. After showering, wanted to go Scream Park, but closed edi. Sobbb. Nvm, there's gonna be a next time. Weee.
After playing at the theme park, went to have dinner at Shogun. Buffet lg. Masing2 eat until cannot move edi. Adik practically fell asleep on the table HAHA. After that went jln2, & finally went home. Out from 10am-10pm, pnat gle wooo.
After dinner. Face also turn green edi HAHAH.
Got back home & watched Marley & Me. Seriously, one hella touching movie, I was crying like mad.
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i'm okay, until i realise that things will never be the same.
.Thursday, February 18, 2010 ' 2:29 PM Y
live & regret.
Currently tuning into: Leona Lewis - I See YouOn This Day In Your Life Farah, God Wants You To Know..
that the weight you carry on your shoulders is much too heavy for one human being. Give some of that weight where it belongs, - to God, and have faith that what happens is for the best, whether you understand it or not.Hello Subang, Farah's backkk! Hahaa. Got back home at around 9-ish last night. Yesterday afternoon Hafiz brought me out to have ABC & rojak fer lunch, then went to the beach. These few days been lepaking with him quite a lot. Biase ah, mmbr baik kan. (:
The beach. A beauty right?
Pic2 yg asyik xmenjd.
=.=
Oh, talking of Kuantan. Shafiq, Syukri's friend cmnt me last night & said that his girlf knew me. The funniest part was tht she knew me as her classmate from Assunta in Standard 2/3. Gle ah, that was frigging ages. I hated that school, but it surprised me to think that someone actually rmbred me from there. & b'cuz of tht, I have a current obssession of finding my exclassmates from tht school in FB. Pfft.
N'way, since I'm back at Subang, back to the old life. I seriously need to go to the gym. Rindu gle. & I've gone up fucking 3kilos. T_T
Esok lepak shisha at Star. & nx week I'm going clubbing, most probably at MOS. Mau ikot?(:
Shandy fer CNY. Yumm yummm. <3
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i'm okay, until i realise that things will never be the same.
.Sunday, February 14, 2010 ' 11:50 PM Y
live & regret.
Currently tuning into: Pitbull - Boom, Shake, DropOn This Day In Your Life Farah, God Wants You To Know..
that all is well. All is going according to plan. Trust that there is a bigger picture. Trust that life is unfolding as it should. Friday, February 12.Went back with mummy & adik. Papa was working, & had to go back to Kota Bahru the next day to get some family affairs done. Arrived at Kuantan at around 7-ish. Then trus gi dinner at some restaurant nearby my house, with the rest of the family. Came back & celebrated my Uncle Ming's 33rd b'day.
Uncle Ming. Blur abis gmbr.
Almost the whole family.
Saturday, February 13.CNY Eve. As usual, the family gathering. Wajib kot. Hoho. Had steamboat, just as we do every year. Damn alot to eat, had some relatives coming over fer dinner too.
Oh, before that went jogging at Taman Gelora with my uncle & auntie. Told Hafiz to meet me there & tman me jogging too. Weee. Lame xjumpe dah kan, so borak2 ah smbl jogging tuh. Mama Han & Uncle Don insist that Hafiz has some sort of crush on me. Habis la u Hafiz. HAHA. ;P
Before dinner.
The steamboat food. Nyummm.
Kekenyangan.
Sunday, February 14.Finally, CNY. Oh, & fucking V-day. Ever since last yr, I officially declared myself as a V-day hater. & I still do right up to this moment. Seriously, if it's true love everyday would be V-day.
N'way, in the morning went to the crematorium to give prayers to my grandma, great-grandma, & aunt. Started crying like mad; whether it was b'cuz I missed my grandma or I was simply depressed, Idk really. Had a little depression crisis the night before.
Go back home, & was busy greeting guests when suddenly my aunt said papa was here. I was like, huh, papa? Told mummy papa was here & she too was surprised; papa didn't say anything about dropping by here. Surprise utk mummy la kot. LOL. N'way, he stayed back fer a while, then left fer KB at 4-ish.
Around 5, went jogging again, then rushed home to get ready for dinner. Went to this restaurant called Honeymoon. Damn nice the name. Lol. Go back home, & started taking pics & chitchatting.
Loh Sang. Fer good luck. ;)
Mummy & adik. Oh, & me wearing samfoo. Weee.
4 out of 5. One more brother's missing in action. LOL.
Bottom line, cam biase je CNY, but it was somewhat fun. Three more days here, & I'm seriously missing the gym, big time. Pfft.
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i'm okay, until i realise that things will never be the same.
.Friday, February 12, 2010 ' 1:59 AM Y
live & regret.
Currently tuning into: Pixie Lott - Cry Me OutOn This Day In Your Life Farah, God Wants You To Know..
that you are only as free as you imagine yourself to be. There is nothing ''out there'' that's holding you down, - you are limiting yourself only with your own imagination. And your greatest limits are not even the ''cannot'' and the ''should not'', but the places where your imagination hasn't yet gone at all. There has never been a better time for you to open your eyes, let the imagination soar and see what more is possible. Monday, 8th February 2010.Zumbathon. It was a blast, really. Like 80%, including me turned up in red, & the 2 hour session was taught by Sunny, Elva, Myke, Jason, & Zainal. It was tiring, but I had a whole lot of fun, not to mention all the shouting & laughing, especially when it was Myke & Elva's turn to teach. Seriously, I love them; they're definitely my faves.
Spot me. Damn candid, not to mention how xtra fat I look. T_T
Oh, tht's Sunny teaching.
& before I kene saman for stealing(lol), I got these from Elva's FB. Usha2 tetibe je ade muke aku skali. Pfft.
Wednesday, 10th February 2010.Met Amin today. Yea, after almost 2 mths. Went to lpak at Mcd with one of his friends. Mummy lectured me about seeing him. According to her, he must have some certain motive in suddenly wanting to meet me. A lot more that she said, but bottom line, she knew I was stubborn when it came to meeting him, so she just let it be.
Still the same, in & out.
Meeting him again made me nervous, for some unknown reason. While driving there my hands were shaking, & I was almost short of breath. However, meeting him, I felt hatred. I just couldn't get myself to sit down there & act like nothing happened between us. I was obviously hating this guy I loved. I wasn't the bubbly, friendly person that was usually with him, I was just a cold, heartless bitch then.
It boiled up my blood thinking of how he could sit there & not even think twice of everything he ever did to me. How he left me & still brags to his friends that I'm his girlf. Yea, the one he abandoned & left for someone else. But, who am I to complain any longer, all this is supposed to be in the past. In fact, thinking once more, mummy's right, he doesn't deserve to get a chance to meet me again.
After that, went to the gym. While driving to Sunway, again there was that sick feeling of wanting to scream & cry. Yes, I admit, I regretted meeting him. I knew exactly how I'd feel whenever I meet him, but then again, only lovers will know the reasons of my actions. (Ayt pun dah touching dah wtf.)
Had MTV class again, this time danced to V-Factory's Lovestruck. Susah woo. Pfft. Also made friends with one of the sales consultants at the gym, Izwan. Before class stood at the door talking about each other. Smpi tanye I ni single ke x. Pe daa, xirrelevant lgsg. Hahaa. N'way, after MTV did Body Pump, Body Combat, & Zumba classes. Seriously, only the gym offers me comfort, no matter how I feel.
When I was about to leave, Amin texted & said tht he was in Sunway, so we lpaked at the rooftop. Technically, 'lepak' involved sitting with him & two of his friends in the car doing nothing. Xbengang lak aku. After barely 10mins of sitting in the car I got very pissed & left without a word.
Was kinda hurt though, he didn't even bother coming after me, or at least calling me or texting me to see if I was okay. But then again, he nvr did regard me as a person with feelings. God what a bastard. Only like every time he'd break my heart, & I stupidly fall, every single fucking time. Sure, I did give out a bitchy attitude last night, but I have my reasons, & he should understand.
Otw home felt very fucked up, with so much on my head, wanting to cry, feeling sick. As I entered Putra Heights, saw this dog by the side of the road, struggling to get up. Apparently it looked like it had been hit by a car. I panicked, wanted to stop & help the poor creature, but at the same time I was terrified. Started screaming & crying like mad while driving home; thinking of the dog's condition was agonizingly painful. Arrived home, still crying harder than ever, until mummy & papa had to calm me down. Couldn't sleep then, kept on thinking of the poor dog, hoping & praying that someone good helped put it out of its misery.
Thursday, 11th February 2010.Had my 2nd & final training with Shah today. Sumpah terseksa gle. Pfft. On the bright side, I lost another 3kg. After that had an hour before Zumba, so went shopping. Well, technically shopping.
As a start. Bju sendiri la hoiii. HAHA.
I like this, but somehow looked weird.
Out out out.
In the end I only managed to buy underwear for mummy & I. LOLOLOL.
After shopping went for Zumba with Myke. Then went cycling with Bryan.
Going back to Kuantan today. Steamboat tmrw, CNY the next. Will post updates. Laters! ;)
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i'm okay, until i realise that things will never be the same.